I Don't Want To Work In An Office Anymore

picture is from source of Google

I have my laptop on my lap and typing these.. I really do never want to work in an office ever again. I just realize today that I have made the right decision ever and I never want to go back to my old life ever again. Hari ni awal pagi I went visiting one of my Mom Circle Friend whom I met in a playgroup that send Diya on weekends. She recently was diagnosed with cervical cancer and at the moment is on traditional herbal treatment for her cancer. She told me that to undergo surgery is not an option for her nor chemo and radiation cause of her high blood pressure and a weak heart. So the only option for her is to go for traditional medicine. She has a 4 years old daughter, same age as my Diya which saddens me more. From the visit I realize how lucky I am to have undergo surgery and all treatment for my cancer safely and successfully. I am now slowly getting back my life and how I use to be before. I am able to wear nice hijab with fashionable clothes, send Diya to school just like other normal parents. when I saw her there weak and not able to do much; I have all my memories freshen up and all the scary thoughts came back to mind. Yes I am scared, worry still and easily get upset to see others suffering.

Then suddenly I just thought; I never want to work in an office ever again. I never want to leave my Diya even just for work. I feel that I never have the courage, energy and strength to go back to that world. I don't care perceptions from family and friends, I just want to do what I want. I will try my best to maintain my mini baking business and help to finance the family as much as I can. If others can success.. So why not me right? Anak orang jual nasi lemak dan kuih pun boleh sampai masuk University kan??? I feel now money is not everything anymore. Yes no doubt it is important but its just not everything anymore.. Well.. At least in my list they aren't. I appreciate health more nowadays. Bila sakit aper pun kita tak boleh nak buat lagi. Allah tu bila nak amik kita anytime Dia boleh amik. Jiran belakang rumah my mom sihat walafiat, selalu come by visit and hantar kuih but suddenly last week she had a stroke, lumpuh sebelah badan and darah beku masuk ke her brain. Went for surgery the next day, coma and passed away the day after. Before this memang takder mengeluh sakit aper pun, takder kencing manis ke, darah tinggi ker aper pun takder. Just one day kena stroke.. Allahhuakhbar!

Another different story; yesterday I had lunch with some good friends of mine, career woman they are.Looking at them sitting in the fancy restaurant made me miss my office career life too.. Wear fancy clothes, bergaya betul ngan accessories, nice handbags and shoes.. Jauh beza ngan my dressing with them (although lately I dah pakai new hijab style; will story all of you in a different posting lah) but still I stylo jugak la hehe.. I dah fikir masak-masak, this life is the best for me. Home mom to Diya with a home base career, i also want to learn to write for myself. I want to cook for family, participate in all Diya's activity especially her school. I want to be there for her all the time. I make her my life now. and also maybe I want to start reading too. Yes these are the things that I want.

Please God, let me have all these. I pray hard to have all these..